SPEAK ON IT: Black is Beautiful!

Hello everyone & Happy February! I know I've been a little MIA from posting but January was a SPIRAL beyond my imagination and now that I am able to think clearly, I can fully dedicate my time and energy into blogging. I cannot believe how quickly the first month of 2015 flew by, as you may all know February is black history month (and fashion week &  my birthday *cover eyes*) so I've been watching a few shows highlighting black history lately so I'm taking a fashion pause (because there are real issues in the world) to discuss a very important issue that has been weighing very heavily on my heart for the past few weeks. After watching OWN's documentary Dark Girls & Light Girls about two weeks ago, I couldn't stop thinking about how important it is recognize that being beautiful isn't based solely on a shade of color. It isn't based on just the physical attributes of a person but it's based on the contents of one's character and the beauty that comes from within...that is what makes someone beautiful. My concern for the black community when it comes to defining what beauty really is has intensified as I've seen such a divide within my own race I can no longer remain mum about the topic. This is my vision, my story, my opinion and my what make's black beautiful.   

 

Ever since I was a little girl my family would always tell me how beautiful I am and how important it was to be proud of who I am. I thank them for constantly showering me with love because it truly boosted my self-esteem because not only was a little brown girl with foreign parents but I was skinnier than the girls in most of my classes and struggled with my own complex of not being "totally American" at times. Their reinforcement that it was okay to be different and that my different was beautiful really shaped the person I am today and for that I thank them. All through out middle school, high school and even college (I went to a predominantly white university with a black community) I never really had to defend or discuss my skin complexion until a few years ago. Being considered dark skin never bothered me until a guy randomly approached me while I was out with my girlfriend and told me "you are beautiful for a dark skin girl"....I mean WTF?!? I've never heard this before and I didn't know how to respond but to nod and walk away feeling less than beautiful. It was a moment that opened my eyes to a race issue within my own black community that I never experienced before. It crushed me that a guy could say that to a woman of my skin complexion and think it was okay. It enraged me that he didn't just say that I was beautiful but that he had to define my beauty based on my melon.

 

Since that moment I noticed that men would refer to me "chocolate" (which I love snickers!) or "my dark skin sister" opposed to calling me by my name. I noticed how men would address my girlfriends of a lighter complexion as "beautiful" and I was confused. Why was this happening? When did this start? Was I not beautiful? Why weren't light skin girls considered "sisters"? I've noticed men talk negatively and degrade one complexion or another on social media which heightened my own frustration. So as perplexing and disheartening this was for me I decided to boost my own self-confidence in ways I knew how....PRAYER! I prayed for men that disregarded black women with my skin complexion and hoping that someday someone would just recognize my beauty opposed to me being a light or dark skinned women. We all check the same box (black/African American) so it really annoyed me that after all these years of fighting for race equality that we would divide over complexion. I've mentioned this issue with my girlfriends in the past and we always come to the same conclusion "light skin doesn't equate to beauty and dark skin doesn't equate to ugly", beauty shines from within and there's no way a particular complexion can define what is beautiful.  
 

 

I think there is something so beautiful in a woman's confidence and who she is as person that a skin complexion should never define her beauty. As women we struggle enough with being "enough" in a real world. We all have insecurities and complexes that surpass our own understanding at times that it's so important to feel beautiful. Being Black is a beautiful entity within itself, to think their are so many shades of black women is intriguing alone. No shade or complexion is the accurate description of what beauty truly is, as a race we need to come together to uplift women because after all they are the fierce human beings that brought us into this world...without them where would we be? I challenge you to tell people how beautiful they are without using their physical attributes and see how much your perspective shifts (beauty shines from the heart first).  

 

February is all about LOVE, lets try to spread love to beautiful women in your life because they need it more than you know. Actress, Lupita Nyong'o said it best "What is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself and for those around you. That kind of beauty enflames the heart and enchants the soul. There is no shame in Black beauty".