TALK THAT TALK TUESDAY: Investing Into Your Friendships

 

I've been going through this "invest into your friendships" phase lately and I've realized that it's so important to truly give more of yourself to relationships where there is a love and bond that worth preserving. Turning 28 has been quite the rollercoaster for me as I've embraced more changes in the person I'm becoming versus person that I used to be, so the topic of friendships has been on my mind so much lately. I love fashion with most of my heart but there is apart of me that loves my relationships way more. I value my family and friends so much, that I've learned to place my investment in them rather than material things. No, I'm not giving up my Jimmy Choo's or Christian Louboutin's up but I have decided to stick with investing more into those relationships that are purposeful and genuine. I always say "there is so much to this puzzle" when people tend to misconstrue my love for fashion versus who I am as a person, I have many pieces to this puzzle named Ms. Style and Grace that I cannot begin to explain, just know that I love very hard. But, lets get back into what's been on my mind...I've truly known that investing into meaningful friendships/relationships can make your life 10 times better. As we grow up, we change and I find that inevitable and mostly refreshing...I couldn't imagine being that 20 year old girl that I was today, it just wouldn't work with the path I'm pursuing. I've learned to let certain friendships fall to the waist side if the other friend wasn't investing the time, energy or even love that I needed/wanted. Certain friends are truly for certain seasons of your life and I've definitely have my 20s to thank for that. When we enter new seasons of our life also known as new phases/transitions (i.e. graduating college, new job, moving to a new city, finding a new love) sometimes you feel that eerie distance in friendships and it's a hard place to be in. It's okay, it happens to the best of us! 

 

 

The best remedy would be to invest in the friendship(s) more to see if this friend could be in your next season or just be at peace with the end of the season for that friendship(s), but know that with growth and time comes understanding. Learning to love people from a distance is the motto, missing them is hard but realizing that not everything last forever is a pill we have to swallow. I'm an optimist and believer that if a friendship/relationship is meant to be it will be, so just because that friendship ended in one season doesn't mean several seasons later that the friendship couldn't rekindle. I for along time didn't understand why certain friendships ended and why I was more interested/invested into my newer friendships I was developing but I had an Ah Ha moment as Oprah would say and realized that I was becoming the woman I always wanted to become and not everyone was going to understand that. So with all the change happening in my life I knew I couldn't hold onto those friendships that I thought would last forever, I had to invest in the ones that was worth fighting for.    

 

 

I've learned that it's all apart of growing up and finding/building upon those friendships where time between phone calls and occasional dinner dates doesn't really mean "I don't love you" or "I have a problem with you" but that I'm working on being a better person and chasing my dreams. I've struggled in the past few years with certain friendships that I thought were suppose to last forever, but God had a different plan for my season's change and for that I'm grateful. It's so important to re-evaluate your friendships and relationships with people as we are emotional beings and deserve the time, commitment and investment needed for growing. Quality time and showing that you care is by far the most important part of being a friend. I've learned that even an occasional email/text from a friend "checking on me/wishing me a great week" makes a world of a difference and even those cards that I get in the mail from Valentine's Day or "Just Because" is all that I need to know that my friends are also investing into me. The small things occupy the biggest parts of our hearts and making people feel like they matter is an even more rewarding than those material purchases we tend to make. We've got to learn to invest into our friendships more than we invest into our purses, shoes, cocktails and partying...there is so much more to life that we must choose to invest.     

 

 

So with all this said, Are you investing into your friendships? Making one person do all the work is not a friendship, if you care make the investment and commitment to be a better friend maybe even be an AMAZING friend that someone could count on and know that with all of life's ups and downs that they have you to depend on is truly a blessing. Understand that life has a way of changing your circle of friends up a little but, build upon those friendships that are worth your investment because those relationships matter! Let's be clear I'm not talking about opportunistic "friendships" also known as the what can you do for me relationships/contacts, I'm talking about those friendships that stand a test of time, faith, love and growth. This post is truly dedicated to all my friends that I love near and dear to my heart, you guys means so much to me and have been the best investment ever. My time and your time is definitely worth the investment I wouldn't trade for the world, thank you for investing into me! LOVE is you!