TALK THAT TALK: Finding A Balance

 

I write this post from the deepest part my heart and meaning every single word. It took me a few weeks to get the courage to post this but the day has come and I'm confident that this will resonate with someone that is struggling to find their balance. Blogging is not only my hobby, passion or bored obsession, it has become my outlet to deal with life's series of ups/downs. For the past couple of months, I've sat back, observed and watched so many things change in my life without notice and I couldn't be more grateful for the life lessons. At first I couldn't understand why things were going my way it did and why I was feeling the way I did but it became so clear to me after I started journaling and learning to find my inner peace. My 20s has taught me so much about myself and yes I know that's so "cliché" to say but it truly has, I'm not sure I would be the person I am today if it wasn't for all the experiences that taught me "life goes on" and always strive to be the person you would want to meet.

 

 

And I'm not just saying that because I'm 28 and feeling like I should've had things all figured out by now, but because I've really taken charge of my life with guidance and direction given to me by the man upstairs. My female intuition has grown, my love for God has blossomed, my family has expanded in ways I've never imagined, my friends have become my extended family, my dating life has been a series of highs/lows that keeps me on my toes, my work life has become my daily routine and my heart...well my heart has become use to trying to find a balance with it all. I'm constantly having discussions about "getting my life together" with my girlfriends and how I want to be that super woman that can do it all. Yes, I know it's all about timing so I've heard and learned. I think my biggest challenge this year was with my friendships, and finding the balance to maintain healthy and meaningful relationships with women that I grew to admire and whole heartedly look up to.

 

I'm perfect by no means, but I like to think that my girlfriends are a direct reflection of me and the things I aspire to be. What's the point of being surrounded by people you cannot learn or grow from/with? I'm extremely blessed to have them in my life and without them I don't know where I would be (Thank you!). Again, it's all about BALANCE...I have girlfriends that are married, in serious relationships, complicated situationships, phenomenal mothers, chasing their dreams and trying to figure out their purpose and we all make time for each other because we know that's important. If you know anything about me, then you know I come from a huge Caribbean family and we are ALWAYS celebrating something. Making cameos and showing up to celebrations near/far has been a commitment of mine since I was younger, my parents instilled in me the value of showing support by your physical presence and until this day I still think it's important to support your family and friends by attending their events, etc. My friends constantly tease me about my social calendar and not knowing "how I do it", it's simple...I find the time.

 

Over the past couple of years I've definitely realized that I am only ONE person and capable of doing so much so I say "NO" now when I have to without any apologies because I come first and I am my first priority (Whew..that was hard to say!). I have learned to prioritize my hectic social calendar and find time for myself because at one point I would overbook myself so much that I would skip meals, lose sleep and forget to even look in the mirror. I was running myself ragged and people could tell because of the bags under my eyes and the constant need to "be somewhere". I would be so busy running around and making everyone else happy and feeling like they were #1 that I forgot to put myself in the running for 1st place. It happens to the best of us and that's when I looked up the word BALANCE (an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady) because I lost all sense of this in my early 20s. I use to know how to party on a Wednesday night, wake up and study for an exam and pass with flying colors in college then when I graduated it became harder because my responsibilities were piling on and there was no time to do all of that in the real world. Graduating from college and entering into the workforce then going back to school with so much on my plate, finding a balance was a goal I set a few years back and I'd like to say that I've finally accomplished it!! I've learned to take a necessary step back when I had to, re-evaluate my relationships with people when needed, get dressed up and show up for important events/things, and prioritize where "Schuntel time" fits in my schedule. With some adjustments and life throwing me a few hurdles along the way I've learned to keep my head high (and heels higher) while I aimed to find my balance in my quiet moments.

I think there is a real beauty and strength to finding your balance in this world we live in especially in knowing that YOU are just as important as everyone else you are making a priority in your life. With every season there comes change and growth, so I'd like to think at 28 years old I've learned something about balancing my rollercoaster of a life. I've watched my sisters become phenomenal mothers and still make time to socialize with their friends, go on date night with their husbands and even have some "me time". There is certainly a way to finding the balance we all need to surviving our 20s and conquering our 30s ladies (and gentlemen...if you're reading lol). Have you found your balance? Do you make time for yourself? Is prioritizing certain things in your life going to bring you the most peace? What are you doing to make YOU happy? These are questions I ask myself often because after all, you are first and it's important to take care of you first before you can take care of someone else's needs/wants. I really hope this post resonates with someone and it reassures you that finding a balance is healthy and necessary to sustaining meaningful relationships needed for growing and learning. 

*bows out gracefully*